Ok, I may have skipped a few days of my Worldwide Thank You Tour 2016, but it’s the holidays and I’m on “vacay-mode”! I’ve been sipping eggnog and napping by the fire (not really, because I live in sunny San Diego, but I thought you might enjoy the image).
Here I go with, what I consider to be one of my most favorite things in life… bacon. Those flat, crunchy, salty bits of heaven are the reason to get up in the mornings. I would literally walk, or even saunter down the stairs to get a piece of bacon. Without bacon, why go on? Bacon should be it’s own food group. I would put it at the top of the nutrition pyramid. In fact, I would replace the entire food pyramid with bacon. I could go on, and on about bacon, but I think sharing a photo of me with bacon in my mouth is worth a thousand words, so here you go viewers:
I finish this ode to bacon just one request – MORE bacon!!!!!
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”
This post brought to you by Dolly’s favorite brand of dog collars and leashes – Diva Dog. Today you can get FREE shipping on all orders placed within the continental USA!
School is out, the sun is hot and I’m exhausted. It must be summer. And you know what summer rhymes with? BUMMER! Yes, you heard me right. I am not a fan of the summer solstice.
If you are built like me, short legs, or as I like to say – “ground hugging traction” you are closer to the hot pavement. Additionally, my classic looks include a somewhat underdeveloped nose. It is of course fabulous to look at, but harder to breathe thru. Combine that with the fact that I am of generous proportions, and you have one hot dog!
I have found a way to combat the ravages of summer with a simple routine. I bask in the sun early in the day, and follow that up with a power nap. The power nap is a necessary part of this regimen. Without the added energy and vigor of the nap, I can barely gather myself for my midday snack!
I repeat step 2 & 3 (for those of you not listening, that’s another nap and another snack) a couple more times but within the confines of my luxury, air conditioned abode. This goes on for HOURS. Nap, snack, nap, snack etc. I call this “Beast Mode”. Caution: You have to work your conditioning up to this.
Finally the sun sets and I’m ready for dinner! It’s the best time of the day.
Being a world-class athlete, I am in tip-top condition at all times. My resting heart rate is optimal. My BMI is exceptionally good and my paw-eye coordination is incredible. I’m really a marvel to behold.
Why don’t I play on a team you ask? Well of course I could, and I would be the best player on the team. And that’s the problem. I am so incredibly good that I would ruin the hopes and dreams of those poor lesser talents.
Move over Hope Solo!
Take the US Ladies Soccer team. They have a goalie. And some people think she is pretty good. But how can a person with sadly, just two feet compete with four lightening fast paws? And don’t forget a set of razor sharp teeth! It just wouldn’t be fair.
So today, while I am sitting in front of my television watching those sad bi-ped women flail and wobble about on the field, I won’t judge them to harshly. After all, it’s not their fault. There’s only room in this world for one Dolly the Pug.
Hi. My name is Dolly. Some people call me Dolly the Pug, Dolly Madison (because I’m sweet as pie – yuck) and Doll Face. You can call me Editor in Chief of the hippest dog column on the planet! Yes, you heard it right, I’m a dog and I write an advice and lifestyle column. Look for my daily noodlings on such things as “Cats! Why?”, “Naps…, Oh yeah naps…” and “What I Chewed on Today”. If you would like advice, I’m all ears too. Just email me your questions and quandaries and I will solve all of your problems. Or at the very least, make you smile.
Signing off for now to do some research on my naps article!