Some people like chocolate. I’m a dog. Chocolate is poison to us. So no, I do not have a problem with chocolate. Some people like exercise. I am a pug, and exercise is poisonous to us (not really, but I like to think it is). And some people like shoes. I like shoes. And therein lies the problem. I like ALL KINDS OF SHOES. Strappy sandals, plush slippers, rubbery soled sneakers and work boots. OH HOW I LOVE work boots. I could go on for hours about the smell of the suede, the texture of the thick, round shoelaces and the flavor of those hard soles. Mmmmmmm!
Ok, snap out of it Dolly! This is a column about admitting to yourself when you have a problem and according to my family, my shoe fetish has gotten way out of hand. My mom has sat me down and had a “puppy intervention”. I just looked at her with that dazed expression I get when I am hiding something and trying not to let on that I really know what she is saying. Deep down I know I should quit. But how (insert the word “why” here, because I really don’t know why I should give up this delightful pastime)?
You’re digressing again Dolly! I need a plan. I heard there is a “steps” program. Maybe I can come up with 5 steps to not chewing the begeezus out of my family’s shoes? Here goes. This is my “Five Steps To Not Eating Shoes” by Dolly the Pug:
Step 1. Take a nap. I’m always at my best after a nap. Yes, take a nap!
Step 2. Eat. There’s nothing like eating to calm the nerves.
Step 3. Take another nap. Because, how can you keep your eyes open after eating all that food?
Step 4. Visit the Lady’s Room. Ok, we call it “Poo Poo Patch” and its behind the house, but I don’t want to sound crass.
Step 5. Um, I sort of forgot what we are doing here, so I think taking another nap sounds good.
Whew! Now that I’m rested and relaxed I think I’ll go for a stroll thru the closets to just “window shop”….
Til Next Time,
Dolly The Pug