First I would like to send you well wishes of a Happy and Prosperous 2017! I do have to say 2017 isn’t starting out so great for this pug. It all started with a Christmas present…
This was just my second Christmas and I was looking forward to a lot of toys and cookies. What I got was, as the Father in “A Christmas Story” described Ralphie wearing Aunt Martha’s pink bunny pj’s, a “Pink Nightmare”. Words don’t do it justice. The item of clothing was made of swirling pink fur, a zipper with a faux diamond pull and a nausea inducing color best described as Pepto-Bismo pink.
I tried to put on my game face. After all, I’ve modeled many garmets that I wouldn’t personally purchase. I strutted down the hall like a super model doing a catwalk during Fashion Week. I rolled around on the ground like Madonna performing Like a Virgin. I was moving with wreckless abandon. I was selling it!
All of a sudden one of the humans noticed my zipper was slowly inching down my back. I was, in effect, unzipping with every movement of my body. They declared that I was “too fat”. My body was not a medium, as I have always maintained, but a portly large. It was mentioned that I looked like a sausage with feet.
Fast forward to today. I am now on a diet. And by diet, I mean just regular dog food, no scraps, no treats, basically no reason to live. In addition to that cruel and inhumane punishment, I am going on daily walks about the neighborhood. I like walks. The short ones. Walks that last a maximum of 5 minutes, followed by a treat. But these so-called walks involve hills and other such hazards as to make them a veritable torture course.
I sign off for now, weary, and hungry. Very, very hungry!
Dolly The Pug