Day 20 – Lapping It Up

Today I am grateful for just being me… a pug. Being a pug has it’s privileges and among them is being a lap dog and I excel at that art. Lapping as we experts call it, requires letting all of your inhibitions go and being really, really pushy. Nobody, nowhere, and no time is off limits for taking your rightful place.

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Watching my favorite shows, in my favorite place.

Dolly The Pug

dollythepug
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”

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Day 4-8 (Because I am REALLY Thankful for This)!

Ok, I may have skipped a few days of my Worldwide Thank You Tour 2016, but it’s the holidays and I’m on “vacay-mode”! I’ve been sipping eggnog and napping by the fire (not really, because I live in sunny San Diego, but I thought you might enjoy the image).

Here I go with, what I consider to be one of my most favorite things in life… bacon. Those flat, crunchy, salty bits of heaven are the reason to get up in the mornings. I would literally walk, or even saunter down the stairs to get a piece of bacon. Without bacon, why go on? Bacon should be it’s own food group. I would put it at the top of the nutrition pyramid. In fact, I would replace the entire food pyramid with bacon. I could go on, and on about bacon, but I think sharing a photo of me with bacon in my mouth is worth a thousand words, so here you go viewers:

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I finish this ode to bacon just one request – MORE bacon!!!!!

Happy Holidays

dollythepug
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”

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Surviving Summer: Pug Style!

School is out, the sun is hot and I’m exhausted. It must be summer. And you know what summer rhymes with? BUMMER! Yes, you heard me right. I am not a fan of the summer solstice.

If you are built like me, short legs, or as I like to say – “ground hugging traction” you are  closer to the hot pavement. Additionally, my classic looks include a somewhat underdeveloped nose. It is of course fabulous to look at, but harder to breathe thru. Combine that with the fact that I am of generous proportions, and you have one hot dog!

I have found a way to combat the ravages of summer with a simple routine. I bask in the sun early in the day, and follow that up with a power nap. The power nap is a necessary part of this regimen. Without the added energy and vigor of the nap, I can barely gather myself for my midday snack!

I repeat step 2 & 3 (for those of you not listening, that’s another nap and another snack) a couple more times but within the confines of my luxury, air conditioned abode. This goes on for HOURS. Nap, snack, nap, snack etc. I call this “Beast Mode”. Caution: You have to work your conditioning up to this.

Finally the sun sets and I’m ready for dinner! It’s the best time of the day.

This short guide to summertime survival was brought to you by Diva-Dog!
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Somebody’s Watching You!

Dear reader, I don’t know if you realize this, but you are constantly under surveillance. Not by your government, aliens from outer space or the great All Mighty. You are under the watchful eye of your pet. To be more specific, your dog!

Dogs sort of slip under the radar. We are at your feet when you are flossing. Sitting on your lap when you are reading. And generally just blending in to the background. Most dogs are trying to get your attention. They want to be petted, fed or just acknowledged in most instances. But occasionally you run across Spy Dog. Spy Dog is interested in your every move. We sniff everything you touch, we slink up behind you and root thru the trash can you just deposited something into (it could be a clue)! Spy Dog even watches you when you sleep. We are the ever-vigilant protectors of the universe (we aren’t sure what we are protecting you from, but we are always on duty).

Don’t fear Spy Dog. Don’t stop Spy Dog. Just go about your business and let us do our job. Oh, and Spy Dog works for treats. Treat Spy Dog!

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Undercover! On the Job!

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The United States of Dolly Dollars

Call of the Wild(ish)

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Spring has sprung at my estate and our land was overrun by nasty vermin called gophers. These are vile little fellows that like to leave behind pillowy mounds of earth where once lived a favorite flower or shrub.

My humans are beside themselves, so I decided to take it upon myself to eradicate these unwanted new tenants. My first notion was to wait them out. I saw a little head pop out of a hole and retreat. I stealthily crept up and waited with bated breath (note to self, brush teeth more often). After a few minutes large quantities of soil began to spray from the hole. I took my opportunity and leapt forth. Taking no prisoners I dug deep and I dug fast!

Soon I found myself panting, and out of breath. Around me was a landscape that could only be described as barren. I had lost myself to the siren song of the dreaded gopher. The plants I had meant to be the savior of were all tossed around the yard and I have uncovered a very large hole, some might call it gaping!

Knowing when to run and hide is one of my best attributes and when I heard the screen door swing open I ran for the hills!  That fawn colored blur was me bobbing and weaving across what was formerly the lawn. I found refuge in an azalea bush. From there I could survey the situation. And what I found was the situation was not good. My human said a few choice words about America’s favorite pug puppy then set about undoing all the excavation work I had done.

If anyone wants to know where I am, I am still hiding in the azalea bush. It’s the third from the right. You will know it because it is a smallish bush and I am a biggish dog.

So long from the trenches!
Dolly The Pug
dolly@diva-dog.com

Editor in Chief of

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Get a Job!

For those of you that didn’t watch CNN or E! News today, it’s my birthday. Parades and speeches aside, it’s been a very busy day for me. Not only did I turn 7 today (in dog years), but I also was given a job. Not a “chore” but an actual bonafide J-O-B. My title is Czar of Social Media Content. As far as I can tell that means posing for pictures next to things. I know of several media starts that do this for a living. Think anything thatsocial ends in “dashian”.

For my first post with my fancy new title, I am sharing a peek into my work day. This is me hard a work updating my social status. Don’t you think my human should be working harder?

I’m LOL’ing and OMG’ing into the great cyber universe. I’ve #duckfaced  and I think it is only appropriate to tweet the duck. I’ve also learned by some very sad trial and error how to hold the camera at a flattering angle to hide my slight issue with neck rolls. #stilllookingforskinnyfilters

Lest there be a backlash, I did NOT use a slenderizing filter #bae.

Happy Birthday To Me,
Dolly the Pug
Editor-In-Chief & New Social Media Star
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Clothing Optional – Musings of a Muse

For some reason people LOVE to dress up their dogs, and in particular, pugs! My human has stuffed my plump little body into everything from a vampire bat costume, a frilly summer frock, a very bad 70’s disco vest and what can only be described as “Barrio-Chic”.
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I’m not above the occasional twirl down the runway of life, I’m used to the “oohs!” and “aahs!” as I saunter past, but things have gotten out of hand. I’ve seen web searches for booties! Yes, I said booties. Small boots for dogs. Shoes, for a dog! What in heavens name do I need booties for? I live indoors… in Southern California. My paws are used to the plush feel of carpet, or a soft summer breeze as I am conveyed about the yard. Not the constriction of soles and shoe laces.

I’ve put my ear to the wall to listen to the late night confabs my human has had with her fellow dog-crazy friends. b49She’s been sizing me up for what can only be described as Pug Spanx! I don’t need tummy control panels, or booty pads. And certainly NOT sandal toes!

On behalf of all canines I beseech you all, this madness must end! And by end I mean no more doggy glasses, tiaras, hats, tutu’s or other accessories you think would look “cute” on us. We. Are. Not. Amused!

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Ciao Bella!

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Super Bowl!

I was told there’s going to be a super bowl next weekend! My little heart jumped at the thought of a giant bowl of kibble.

I was told there’s going to be a super bowl next weekend! My little heart jumped at the thought of a giant bowl of kibble. Would it be chicken? Fish? Dare I say BISON??? But no, what you humans call a Super Bowl isn’t kibble. It isn’t even in a bowl! What’s wrong with the world?

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If puppies were in charge, things would be different. And by different, I mean delicious. A giant metal bowl would be created and filled to the brim with delightful treats. Puppies from all over the world would join together in a contest of true grit. Winners would be decided by how many kibbles could be downed in a 60 minute time frame. Our half time show would involve cats, mail men and squirrels. And the victor would receive a life-sized sculpture of themselves carved out of steak.

So next weekend, when you are watching that boring game on tv, ask yourself, wouldn’t a Dolly Bowl be more interesting?

Dolly the Pug
Commissioner of Mischief

dollythepug
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”

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Good For Nothing!

Everyone is so impressed with things like multi-tasking. Books are written on it. People brag about it on Facebook. Blah. Blah. Blah! I’m not impressed!

Everyone is so impressed with things like multi-tasking. Books are written on it. People brag about it on Facebook. Blah. Blah. Blah! I’m not impressed!

I’m what’s known as a lap dog. Definition: a small pet so precious, we not only want, but NEED to be carried about and reside mainly on laps. Yes I know, it’s a hard job, but I am up to the task.

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Me, hard a work!

Here’s how my workday goes:
7 am: Woken from a sound slumber by the shuffling of my humans feet. This arises in me the need to bark loudly reminding them to release me from my mountain of cushions in my crate.
7:05-7:45am: Weave in and out of the legs of my family as they try and fix breakfast, lunches and get dressed. This includes but is not limited to growling at my bowl, chewing on stray socks, shoes, erasers etc. as they float to the floor around me and generally “being a complete, and utter nuisance” (my mom’s words here, not mine.)

7:45am – 9pm: Now this is where my true talents are put to the test! Sleep on any soft surface I can find. If say, someone wants to take a nap. I’m there. If you wanted to watch tv, I’m there. If you wanted to read a book quietly, I – AM – THERE! Basically anytime you want to sit quietly and do nothing, I am your boon companion. Your BFF as you will, of total and complete loafing around.

9:01pm – 6:59am: Sleep, because all that work is exhausting!

dollythepug
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”

Dolly The Pug
dolly@diva-dog.com

Brought to you by Diva-Dog. Diva Dog is dedicated to creating stylish dog collars and accessories for your favorite obsession, your best friend, your dog!
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I’m Better Than A Xanax

My mom was once again watching Dr. Oz (the family usually bans her from doing this because we end up eating some crazy diet or we find he smearing strange things on her face).

My mom was once again watching Dr. Oz (the family usually bans her from doing this because we end up eating some crazy diet or we find he smearing strange things on her face). Anyway, he had a guest on that said the #1 reason he will live longer is he has a dog! Really, no kidding, a dog! Apparently us domesticated canines stare lovingly into your eyes and it reduces the overall levels of the stress hormone, cortisol in your body. Not only that, but you also get a boost in your parasympathetic nervous system activity, the system that helps calm and rest the body.

So next time you are feeling stressed out, just take a look at this picture:xanax

And feel the stress melting away!

dollythepug
Editor in Chief of “The Dolly Files”

Dolly The Pug
dolly@diva-dog.com

Brought to you by Diva-Dog, Diva Dog is dedicated to creating stylish dog collars and accessories for your favorite obsession, your best friend, your dog!
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Cute Is The New Camo!

While perusing the television with my humans, I ran across a “nature” program about camouflage as protection against predators. First of all, there’s nothing “natural” about living outdoors, hunting for your food, and missing nap times. It’s not just “un-natural” it goes against every fiber in my being!

Alas, I digress. The idea of camouflage is not new to me. I have been practicing my own version of it for months (I’m only 8 months old as I’m sure you already know). In order to protect myself from the occasional swats on my tush for chewing on a couch cushion, I go into “cute mode”. It involves my patented moves. There are many more, but for brevity’s sake, try these:

1. The side eye glance
2. The over the shoulder big eyes
3. The chin on the knee
4. The face between the paws

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Now, this is not for everyone. Heavens NO! In fact, you must first be adorable to pull off this trick. Once you’ve established your adorableness factor (between 7-8 is meh, I’m a 10+), you can then try the beginner moves. I would start with the “Face between the paws”. It works in the most dire of situations involving expensive footwear or the accident on the carpet.

Best of luck!
Dolly the Pug
For more hints, and suggestions ask Dolly:dolly@diva-dog.com

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