It’s been a while since I last wrote my column and I wanted to explain to you, my slavishly loyal fanbase, why…
As you are aware, at a very early age I ascended to the dizzying heights of stardom. As a mere puppy, I was appearing on the cover of international tabloids. I was so famous, that verbs were named after me. Sayings like “I Dolly’d”, and “Dolly up” became part of popular culture. Some compared my lifestyle to a pre-teen Drew Barrymore/Lindsay Lohan (of course with much better couture)!
I flew in private jets. I dined at the tables of royalty. I sat front-and-center at the fashion shows. But as we all know, all that goes up, must eventually come crashing down. And crashing down I did! My weight ballooned. I stayed out late, missing important meetings. My inner circle began to dwindle, replaced by hangers-on.
One day I found myself looking into the mirror and wondering what happened to that joyful puppy of yesteryear that romped with tennis balls and found joy in the simple things like long walks and head rubs?
My remaining friends staged an intervention and I was whisked off to Puggy Ford where I dried-out. I went on a strictly vegan cleanse. Gone were the Kobe beef patties, replaced by kombucha and kale. I meditated. I hiked. I did yoga – well, not actually on purpose, but trying to get out of my Spanks I found myself in a very downward dog pose once. In other words, I found “me” again!
I stand before you, a new, happier puppy. And I am returning to my post as style-guru at Diva Dog where I will send off weekly missives about the latest trends from around the world. And of course, keep you up to date on my glamorous, though much more “centered” life.
So for now I don’t say goodbye, I say I’ll see you again next week!
Dolly The Pug