BMI my Butt!

First I would like to send you well wishes of a Happy and Prosperous 2017! I do have to say 2017 isn’t starting out so great for this pug. It all started with a Christmas present…

This was just my second Christmas and I was looking forward to a lot of toys and cookies. What I got was, as the Father in “A Christmas Story” described Ralphie wearing Aunt Martha’s pink bunny pj’s, a “Pink Nightmare”. Words don’t do it justice. The item of clothing was made of swirling pink fur, a zipper with a faux diamond pull and a nausea inducing color best described as Pepto-Bismo pink.

I tried to put on my game face. After all, I’ve modeled many garmets that I wouldn’t personally purchase. I strutted down the hall like a super model doing a catwalk during Fashion Week.  I rolled around on the ground like Madonna performing Like a Virgin. I was moving with wreckless abandon. I was selling it!

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All of a sudden one of the humans noticed my zipper was slowly inching down my back. I was, in effect, unzipping with every movement of my body. They declared that I was “too fat”. My body was not a medium, as I have always maintained, but a portly large. It was mentioned that I looked like a sausage with feet.

Fast forward to today. I am now on a diet. And by diet, I mean just regular dog food, no scraps, no treats, basically no reason to live. In addition to that cruel and inhumane punishment, I am going on daily walks about the neighborhood. I like walks. The short ones. Walks that last a maximum of 5 minutes, followed by a treat. But these so-called walks involve hills and other such hazards as to make them a veritable torture course.

I sign off for now, weary, and hungry. Very, very hungry!

Dolly The Pug
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Author: divadogblog

Dolly The Pug is the "face" of Diva-Dog.com. Dolly blogs regularly about everyday issues like Paparazzi, college and her shoe fetish. From time to time she gets up on her soapbox and issues directives to the general public, but for the most part she is just a run-of-the-mill Super Star Pug with a blog. Check in regularly (or should we say when the muse inspires her) for her latest travails. Also, since she is the face of Diva-Dog, she regularly posts offers you can only find on her blog. Dolly Dollars are just one of the many deals she reports on.

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